Abandoned and thrown out into the darkness.

Witnessed the death of a child in my hands.


Still too young to carry my own weight,

But was still forced to work for money.


Obliged to wear plastic bags on my feet,

While walking down the snowy streets. 


All I wanted for myself was to survive, 

so I ran and found the best place to hide.


And at night, I could feel all the suffering on my shoulders,

along with the memory of my mother’s cruelty, who only got colder.


She wasn’t woman enough to take care of us,

she just tossed us around, hit us, and shouted so loud to create a lot of fuss.


My father however, was my hero,

until he became too scared and tired, and so he crouched and become a zero.


I was held at gun point for too many times to count, 

and I tried to hold the gun towards my throat,

but I am still surviving, I am still thriving.


And for what? 

For everything and nothing, for my insanity, for all my sufferings.

For all the pain I’ve witnessed, and more to come.


So again I ask you, for what?  



To all that is gone,

Beaten and forgotten.

For the many time

Which was wasted;

To all those seconds, minutes turning into hours, even.

And all those days locked inside.

Feeling lonesome, empty.


For that one missed chance,

Just because you were afraid.

To trying once, twice,

And starting over again.

To giving up, 

The heaviness of the failure is felt alongside you.


For every story left untold,

Hidden, locked deep within.

The words and images burning in your mind.

For all those chains that wound you,

Thus limiting you from reaching that one spectacular opportunity.


To what was yours,

Your time, your memories, your patience, your love.

Where has it all dissipated?

To reminisce all that has been done, and all that you have been through;

The pain, the sufferings and the do overs.

One nickel

One nickel for just sitting passively there besides me

Two pennies for putting me out of your life

Three bucks for all the lies that betrayed my trust

Four euros for leaving me alone when i needed u the most

Six hundred yen for forgetting my existence

Seven thousand dollars for your pretending

Eight hundred thousand pounds for never asking about me

Nine million peso for not looking beyond my weaknesses

Ten thousand million dirhams for your egoistic narcissism which will burn you down.